Have you ever been so stressed that it's hard to maintain focus on important goals?
It's hard to see sometimes what lies directly in front of you. it's hard to juggle the many things that life is throwing your way.
I remember at one point, I was juggling the pressures of doing everything right at a new job making sure my wife was happy making sure my children had everything they needed. Prioritising the many projects that
I had going on at one time moving from one house to another Preparing for my third child to be born and trying to maintain focus on my school work so that I don't fall behind.
I heard the rapper Eminem once say“on the surface he looks calm and ready” and you see that's exactly how I appeared to be to people I appeared to be very cool,very calm, very collected I appeared to have everything under control People used to tell me all the time “wow, you're-you're able tohandle things so effortlessly” or they would say things like“how do you do it Torian?” A
I would simply smileand say quietly to myself “If they only knew“ So it was obvious to those people that I appeared to handle all of thestress and the demands of life that life presented me with. But little did they know that I was plunging under the pressure that I was sinking in the sea of stress that I was dehydrated from beingin the desert of demands. There were nights when I didn't sleep a wink not because I chose to stay up and study but because there were so many things on mymind that I could not find myself sleep. I don't know if you've ever been that stressed but I’m talking about a level of stress that in an attempt to remove something frommy plate, school became an instant thought It was too much there were too many exams, there were toomany assignments, there were too many demands and there was too little time to complete it all in. I felt like rather thangrowing I was diminishing simply fading away and it seemed thatno one cared enough to dig deeper than the basic question of“how do you handle it?”
At one point, I felt like school was pointless there was nothing there for me, it wastoo difficult to maintain good grades I felt like I could simply rely on my personalityand my charm to score a high paying job. A job that I could get right then and not have to complete multipleyears of school to get it. I began to feel entitled that the world owes me something and that they should take it easy onme, if I decided to drop out of school. But then I realized something I realized that the worlddidn't care about me that everyone in the world was toobusy chasing their own dreams and chasing their own success to careenough to see if I needed help with mine.
I realized that while there are somegenuine caring people in this world everything you go through is asituation you have to deal with not mom, not dad, not someonefrom the street or anyone. It’s about how you deal with the stressand the demands that life gives you and in that moment my life changed completely. I wasn't relying on anyone todo anything that was mine to do. I stayed up late, I studied,I read, I wrote, I sacrificed I did everything that I was supposed to do. I was no longer entitled. Quitting never entered my mind at that point I was on a mission not just to show the world that I cando it, but to prove to me that
I can do it. listen to me I went from being academically dismissed my freshman year in college to being months away from achieving my PHD. Listen, let me give it to you again I went from being in the bottom 3% of my college to the top 3% nationwide with a prestigious research degree. Now I don't say this to brag to you What I’m telling you is that when you make up in your mind that your success is more important than your cell phone when you make up in your mind that your success is more important than sleep when you make up in your mind that your success is more important than watching TV Then there is nothing in this world thatcan stand in the way of your success. Not one thing can stop you I heard someone once say that it is impossible to stop a manor a woman that refuses to quit. So throw me in the ring with Mike Tyson throw me in the ring with Floyd 'Money' Mayweather Someone with more experience than me someone stronger than me,someone with more skills than me but if I refuse to quit then there's no way they can beat me I
can only defeat myself. Now that's the same mindset you have to have when it comes to the stressand the demands of school. Look school square in the eyes and tell it you may be tougher than me, you may besmarter than me, you may be bigger than me but I refuse to quit and therefore you will not beat me. And so let me give you a few things just a couple of things to consider whenit comes to dealing with being in stress or stressful situations and the demands of life let me just give you a fewthings to think about the first thing is to take time for yourself. Now, what I mean here is that you arethe number one priority in your world. If you don't take care of yourself then you won't be well enough to takecare of the things that you have to do. Think about think about a vehicle. The job of a vehicle is to get you from point A to point B However, if you don't take careof that vehicle by adding fuel by checking the oil l
by changing the tires and etc then I promise you, eventually it will stop. And that is how your bodyand your brain works you got to take care of yourself. Huffington Post writes that “Taking time to pause from the relentless pace of everyday life and enjoy creative activitiesthat keep you from dwelling on or stressing over school pressures can gofar in decreasing your stress levels.” The second thing that I needyou to understand, watch this Learn to change your thinking. A philosopher once said that “You cannot get stressed outunless you
believeyour thoughts” He says “all stress is precipitatedby stressful thinking” In other words he's saying if you constantly think about being stressed then naturally you're going to become stressed. The moment you begin to stress about notfinishing the project or an assignment on time then your mind will begin tovisualize what could or will happen which can what? Create unnecessary stress. So how do you handle this? Well, by thinking of specific examplesthat can counter those stressful thoughts think of ways that you can create thetime needed to finish that project instead of thinking thatyou'll never have enough time. Because if you change your thinking, watch this your ways will follow The mind is one of the mostpowerful things known to man that's why you've heard thephrase “Mind over Matter.” Now the third thing that Ineed you to understand is this Learn to eat your elephant one bite at a time. What I mean is… Learn to chunk up your work intosmaller manageable bite-sized portions This way, you'll feel lessoverwhelmed, less stressed and have less demands placed on you. The best way to do this is by listingthe things you have going on as well as listing the estimated timeeach one of those things will take. Now once you're done What you're left with is a lotof small easy manageable tasks instead of one large daunting task. So learn to eat your elephant one bite at a time. Now, the fourth thing, the last thingthat I need you to understand is this Lower your goals All right, now stay with me Lower your goals, now what I mean is I don't want you to become a slacker or I don't want you to decide thatyou're not willing to push yourself.
What I mean when I say lower your goals is if you lower your goals you'll achievemore, so as an example watch this let's say you are a D average student that has the desire to pullup your grades to an A. Now shooting for A is great but think about how stressfulthat is going to be for you to go from a D all the way to an A. Lowering your goals simply means instead of shooting for the Aright now go from a D to a C. This is a much more realistic goal now once you earn that C then go from a C to a B. And then work yourself up to the A Kris Carr was once quoted by saying “if you don't think your anxiety, depression, sadness and stress impact your physical health, think again all of these emotions triggerchemical reactions in your body which can lead to inflammationand a weakened immune system” So in other words, he says “learn how to cope because therewill always be dark days” So don't allow stress to get the best of you but instead work hard to beat stress. Always,
number one, take time for yourself.
Number two, learn how tochange your thinking.
Number three, eat thatelephant one bite at a time.
And number four learn to lower your goals just slightly.
This is how you can manage and deal with the stress of being a student and having a lot on your plate.